YAY one week! I made it through the worst night of the week for me and went to AA tonight. It is a struggle to get there but once I’m there and people start opening up i feel a lot more comfortable. The readings and hand holding don’t help me to distinguish it from a religion but it doesn’t really bother me all that much. I want to work the system but i am not chanting anything. I think it helps a lot of people to feel like a part of something but i don’t feel the need to memorize and say sentences that I truly don’t believe in.
I have yet to actually speak at AA and I don’t know when I will. i want to speak but i really don’t know what i would say. “Hi, I am a pretty privileged girl that has had some hard times but has always had someone there to raise my bottom for me. Sorry about your sleeping under a bridge and being robbed and homeless”
I feel like such a fake there but as long as i have some take aways from it I will continue to go. I need to list hobbies but that will wait until my next post. Really exhausted.