Day 14

I haven’t made it through Sunday…yet which is my biggest hurdle and I am thinking about drinking. Sunday is my Friday and unlike most people Friday is my Monday and ALL I WANT TO DO is go to the conveniently placed liquor store around the corner and load up on wine. The strangest part of this desire is that i am literally exhausted from working well over 12 hours today on my feet. Sleep sounds so amazing but why does wine sound even better?

I don’t know what this feeling is and where it came from, I mean I know what it is, its that same intense urge that hits me every Sunday, that one that i try to ignore, i find errands and things to clean, i watch a movie, 2 hours goes by and this intense urge is just as intense as when it begin and I have finally realized its not going away until I give it what it wants. Why is this so darn frustrating and why is it my body is begging for sleep but my mind is saying “no stay up, you can’t sleep until you drink” So what do I DO???? The urge doesn’t stop until I feed it and I am harnessing all my “no” power but i don’t know how long i can resist.

Feeling so broken and out of control of my own mind.

😦

RM

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