Where in the world did all this time come from??? I am realizing that I have spent SO MUCH time thinking about drinking, planning drinking, fighting the urge to go to a liquor store, okay, I will go to a liquor store, planning on food because eating too much food won’t get me drunk enough, but not eating food before drinking means I will black out sooner, canceling plans the next day or telling myself I will drink right this time and will be fine tomorrow, starting drinking at 5 pm and not being present until noon the next day…sheesh! without all that I am left with just living. Let me tell you how nice it is to not spend my days figuring out how and when I’m going to get drunk and the other days feeding a deathly hangover.
It feels great!
My most unproductive days have become 100 times more productive then when I was drinking. I had a lot planned today, but it was raining and cold outside so instead I cleaned and organized my room while watching a lot of TED talks. I walked the dogs and made a really good breakfast and then I said hey! its only noon…Its very interesting that I have been waking up lately around 8:30 without an alarm clock, this is unheard of for me. While drinking, even on days/nights I didn’t drink I still couldn’t roll out of bed until noon and like I said my productivity was nill… zip…zero. I got a call to be in a research study that is only 2 hours and pays 175$ which was pretty exciting because I have been trying to quell my anxiety about money and every dollar counts. I then decided to go to the gym (I just joined a globo gym and its a weird place for me. I have always worked out in a pool, beach, or cross fit gym. I don’t even remotely know how to work the machines but money is tight so I canceled my cross fit gym and joined a globo gym.) I actually worked out for 3 hours. I ran 3.4 miles and then did some stretching and core work and then did an hour cycling class. I had so much energy it was ridiculous. I felt good and half way through the run I was smiling. When I got done I had a message from my old trainer at ass hats gym asking me to come back and I saw some really old friends at the globo gym that I haven’t seen in a while. I came home and made dinner, took a bath, packed for my trip and now I’m in bed. Ahhhhh bed 🙂
I didn’t get a lot of school work done, but what I did get done with today I feel really good about, and to think I wanted to drink last night. SO DUMB!
(Oh and as a side note I read this blog that had this quote in it “my body ended up in places where my mind did not feel good.“ This quote sums up my entire experience with alcohol and I wanted to share it)