I have been watching the Game of Thrones since the first season and I literally have no clue what this show is about and no idea what is happening ever, how people get into these kind of shows is beyond me and why I still watch it is also beyond me but I have found that this show has no triggers for me and it is the only thing left I haven’t watched.
i had a therapy session today. I really can’t afford therapy, it comes to $200 a month but it does feel like a necessary investment into my sobriety and I at least have some skin in the game. It also makes me think twice when i want to head over to the wine shop almost like spending money on fixing your car and then at night taking a wrench to it so you can head back to the shop and get it fixed in the morning. Makes no sense. This keeps me from living in this vicious cycle of insanity with drinking. He does have some interesting things to say and a lot of times I don’t really care for how he talks to me but someone has to start calling me on my bullshit.
I was supposed to go to AA this week but I had massive migraines all weekend and 0.00% desire to drink. I thought no harm no foul and besides I don’t really talk at the meetings well I don’t talk at all so it hasn’t really been very helpful and after a long day of work and a painful migraine dragging my ass to the basement of a church to listen to people talk isn’t the first thing on my list. According to him i avoid anything that takes any kind of work or effort, which I guess is true and he also thinks that I have to have that social support or else I won’t stick with it. I suppose I should listen to someone that has been sober for 11 years and follow his advice, but its so much easier to curl up in bed and watch horrible shows like The Game of Thrones. He’s right, avoidance of effort. Argghhh. I still think that replacing alcohol with something I enjoy is going to stick better than replacing alcohol with something that feels like a chore but I am going to follow the bouncing ball and I will head to AA this Sunday.
Ass hat is out of town this weekend which elevates my mood and optimism exponentially. It is very interesting and alarming to me how one person can affect my happiness but it is reassuring how much better I feel when he leaves (like i can finally breath) which makes me realize this breakup was definitely the right call.
Back to deciphering what in the hecks going on with this show.