Welp I am officially unemployed and i don’t know how I feel about that. I had the plan to leave in July anyways but I had a plan to have a job lined up. I guess life happens on its own terms.
Unemployment is tricky. I have been here before (far too many times to count) Some were 100% my fault, you know showing up hungover to work or calling in 2 or 3 times a week for months because of the “flu” and some were just really bad fits, well actually they all were pretty bad fits. I am not one to sit behind a desk for hours upon hours with work assignments that I can finish in 1 hour. i just can’t find any kind of accomplishment in that kind of work. These positions always resulted in my heading to happy hour and staying up WAY too late to try to stave off the morning and another day at work.
This position was definitely not inspiring by any means but it was a very, very easy pay check. I actually felt bad getting paid sometimes for the amount of work i did but they insisted that the work would come pouring in and I would be overwhelmed so enjoy it while it lasted, and I did.
I was triggered pretty bad last night to drink but instead I took a 15 hour nap. When I say unemployment is tricky its because one part of me is so relieved to not have to go back to a position that I have no interest in and no longer having to deal with people that were so beyond full of their own bullshit but the other part of me is freaking the F out. I have not saved for anything (mainly because I had nothing left to save after bills, rent, utilities, and student loan payments so I have been scrapping by as it is. i am debating moving home early. Like tomorrow. I have nothing left here now besides an ex boyfriend and….thats about it.
i am going to try to stay positive and not drink. i think my brain is finally realizing that drinking really makes a bad situation worse.
Wish me luck.