It is 8:40 and I am at the airport having breakfast waiting for my flight for my sister’s baby shower. I had a pretty eventful day yesterday. I woke up at 5 am for no apparent reason, wide eyed and bushy tailed (HA, me being bushy tailed is a stretch!) This has been happening a lot lately. Waking up early for no reason. I know I have wanted to become an early bird for a long time and even though that’s a really small goal it’s slowly but surely coming to fruition without me even trying. I got a lot packed and did two workouts before noon. I planned on taking the dogs to the mountains for a nice long hike that day but there was rain in the forecast and we have had torrential downpours lately, so instead I went home and red a book until about 4.
I decided to gather my proverbial balls and go talk to my ex about the whole move out situation and how we were going to handle the dogs. It went well, better than I expected, and as much as I have been counting down the days to get out, I feel such a deep sadness about it all. He seemed very low key and sad and in turn that made me really sad. I keep reminding myself that we are so very toxic together and me leaving gives us both a chance at happiness that we could never have together, but it is heartbreaking to leave a person that was my best friend for 5 years.
I told him something private about his business partner that I have kept to myself for a while. His married business partner sent me a very long and very inappropriate text message that he was in love with me and only married his wife because I was taken and now we could have a chance. I can honestly say I never thought of him in any other way than my boyfriends business partner and I had no idea what to do with this information. His wife was kind of a close friend, I mean I was in her wedding but we have lost touch since then. I didn’t want to just spread the text to my ex and his wife and start unnecessary drama but I also hate keeping things from people and I think the truth always comes out and its usually better when it comes out early on. I also didn’t want to tell my ex in a way that would hurt him, we have both experienced so much damage from our constant breaking up and making up that I just wanted to move and not think twice about it, but there was a nagging need to tell him so that he could re-evaulate their friendship and decide what he wanted to do with it. Needless to say after I told him he seemed really upset, he actually got up and left the house for an hour or so.
I don’t know if telling him was the right call. I don’t like to be part of drama and I don’t like being responsible for hurting someones feelings. I guess the information is out there now and there is nothing more I have to think about so that is that but it still feels shitty.
I ended the night with a friend at the movie theatre watching pitch perfect 2 and inhaling buttered popcorn and sour patch kids (which I’m pretty sure i stole on accident) and feel asleep at 11pm.