I have had a pretty busy (and sober) weekend. I started the weekend in a pretty low and dismal mood. I try not to be disappointed in myself for drinking but I think my brain chemistry is all f%$^&d up and I get a little depressed, just another wonderful side effect of drinking. I went running Thursday and every step felt awful, even though I drank on Tuesday the lasting effects take so long to clear from my body. I can FEEL the semblance of a hangover for a week, its not as awful as the day after, but the stomach distress, clamminess, night sweats, depression, dryness, and over all flu like symptoms last for a week. I was sweating my a$@ off during my run, so I kept going, kind of punishing myself and trying to sweat as much beer out as possible. Friday came around and low and behold I received a note from The Universe (literally its an email subscription at tut.com) it read:
Behold, a new day… with rainbows, sunshine, and blue skies. New players, rebounds, and recoveries. Abundance, health, and harmony. Just like you’ve been picturing them, right?
Please tell me you’ve been picturing them!!
It takes so little,
I took that morning and sat with this, I know its a silly email chain where everyone in the world probably received this message Friday, but I like to picture The Universe speaking directly to me. I decided to stop dwelling and start picturing life and successes. I visualized myself going in to the office of the company I have been applying for and completing orientation for the position I want, I visualized crossing the finish line at the Ironman sprint I had coming up, and i visualized a time in space where I no longer struggled with drinking, it just wasn’t my thing anymore.
I received a call from the company that afternoon that they have an open position and I would be perfect for it. I completed my Ironman Sprint in under 2 hours on Saturday and decided to sign up for an Ironman 70.3 in April. I also decided that if I drink again, it won’t ruin my day or week. I don’t want to drink again, but if it happens I will not punish myself, criticize myself, or diminish my self worth. It will be a non-event and I will learn from it, its time to take the power away from alcohol and see it as it is. A drink that is poison to my body. The end.