A No good night very bad kinda night

What a night…Not in a good way! I got first hand experience with my biggest fear of this sobriety thing.

Our anniversary was last night and we planned to do dinner and a movie. I wanted Xmen but he wanted to see Independece Day. We spent the entire day moving and packing and I was pretty excited to relax. I took a shower and proceeded to get dressed. He was taking a little longer and being goofy even though it was almost 6 and the movie started at 7:30. I was getting annoyed because the movie started in an 1 1/2 hours and I knew the drive was about 20 minutes and the chances of grabbing dinner on a saturday evening was dwindling. I am not a happy camper when I’m hungry and I really didnt want my stomach growling the whole movie. We finally got out the door around 6:30. I knew something was really wrong when he started driving. He hit the curb on the way out and seemed slow. I thought maybe he just got high…(*sidenote: he smokes weed. I don’t have an opinion on weed. I don’t really see any downsides to people smoking weed it just isn’t my cup of tea. I think it smells and anytime I have ever tried it I feel the need to pee the entire time. Not a good time for me so I avoid it) any who he started talking to me and I kept trying to explain where we were going and that we needed food before we get there. He was swerving in and out of lanes and crossed three lanes in front of people without a signal. To say I was scared to death is an understatement. He proceeded to tell me in broken slurred english the guy who he buys weed from gave him a xanax to help him “chill out” from our moving day. We ended up driving around aimlessly because he wouldnt listen to me about finding food and I couldn’t persuade him to pull over the car and let me drive. Finally we just went to the movie theatre and went in starving to sit there for 30 minutes. I was already so annoyed. I literally had to say “what are you saying” about a million times. In the movies he inhaled nachos, popcorn, and a Dr. pepper slushy which he preceded to throw behind him after he finished them and fell asleep. He was snoring and would wake up and yell something every so often.

After the movie I woke him up and told him to give me the keys. Thankfully he handed them over. I drove home listening to him mumbling random things and falling in and out of sleep. He got in bed as soon as we got home leaving me to walk the dogs and passed out. I slept like crap last night because he kept snoring and talking in his sleep and I just didnt want to be in the same vicinity as him and now the day I had planned to go see my niece, workout, and get ready for the week is going to have to be put on hold because I can’t keep my eyes open and my head is killing me. I resent him a little today and that is not something I want to feel after a date night.

This morning he apologized profusely but when I told him what he said and did he laughed it off and said well I’m sure it wasn’t funny last night but it is kind of funny today. I still don’t think it is funny at all. I had a horrible anniversary and felt like I was babysitting a drunk idiot all night long. I have always feared that being a sober person would make me judgmental and after reading numerous blogs about relationships working between sober and non sober people I was thrust right into the most negative part. He has never done this and he is never out of control or maybe I never thought he was because I was way more out of control then him but regardless I don’t have the patience for it. I really hope this isn’t the new norm and I know I have been that person countless times so I feel like such a hypocrite. Ugh okay time to hit the reset button. Back to bed

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