Day 1, 2 and 3

Day 1

After I picked my prescription up Monday, I went home and ate dinner all while holding this magical bottle in my pocket. I was super excited to take it, but like I said, I am really scared of drugs. I just picture myself on the news eating some homeless mans face off. After dinner I quickly took it and preceded to wait…. Then I decided to mentally focus on any weird feeling in my body.

I started the first dose at night even though its prescribed for morning use but my doctor said it may make me sleepy and holly balls I was EXHAUSTED. The first sensation was I felt a little loopy and uncoordinated, like I kept trying to grab this bottle top off the floor and for some reason I  could not get it, then I just got tired. Like I couldnt keep my eyes open at 7 at night. I had some cramping and diarrhea but I also just started my period and that is pretty normal for my insides to wreck havoc on my GI system so I wouldnt blame that on the meds. I did find that my sugar cravings were not there. I normally feel an overwhelming desire for sugar if I dont have alcohol. I fell asleep pretty well and had a few dreams. I am still drowsy at work today but I also feel like i can contribute that to my period as well. I am going to continue taking it at night, I can’t imagine trying to power through the sleepiness during the day.

Day 2 wasnt bad. I am not a drink every day kind of alcoholic (I like to binge  like a MOFO) so its not really hard for me to skip days. I wanted to grab a bottle on the way home but it passed quickly and for some strange reason I ended up picturing the nastiest shittiest bar with like the crappiest wine and I can smell the piss and old sour water used to wipe the bar down and then I was beyond wanting a glass of wine. I highly doubt this is the Naltrexone but whatever it is its curbing the craving fo sho. I havent tried the Baclofen yet, I still am not sure when my anxiety needs a medical intervention or when its considered normal.

Day 3. I forgot to mention this in the last 2 days but I have had CRAZY crazy night sweats like sweat running down my face and chest night sweats. I also have had really vivid dreams and I don’t feel like I’m sleeping all that well. I am semi depressed. Again, I’m on my period and I just had to pay rent and a car note so reality is catching up to me of how much money I have thrown into the garbage. I also feel kind of like a loss of a friend if that makes any sense, like even if i want to find my friend again it/he/she will be muted and not who it/he/she used to be to me. I can say that I thought about drinking today just to try it, I am dying to know how it feels to not care to drink excessively but I am so freaking scared its going to feel the same, like a warm hug to my neurons, and I will have no more options to ever stop being this drunken mess. So tonight I am sober.

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